home or vacation??

its saturday morning..or..afternoon?? hehehe..i just woke up...from my bed..since morning..i've been together with my laptop...lying down lazily..with nothing to worry about..my friend, fatin and i..were having some chat about the coming summer holiday plans...for the next 2 years..i was planning to go to us or other places like japan or korea..i feel like i should spend this time having some fun exploring places and buy one or two things over there..i dont feel like going back home..even this coming summer..i dont think like coming back to malaysia..initially i planned on staying here after the eurotrip..because its just a nick of time before our semester starts..i think its a waste of money if you were about to spend time in malaysia for only a month..but, my friend insist on me coming back home..he says," kesian family..lame tak jumpe.." but, my mother would certainly be delighted if i'm not coming back home..she said,i have to save more for the future..and go travel..but, yesterday, i asked my sibs whether its ok for me to not coming back home this summer..there said no..they want me to come back..they say they miss me a lot..they want to eat my cookings..and, spend some time with me..it was so touching..at home, i'm not the typical maryam u'll see..i'm very strict with my sibs..if they dont behave..i'll cut down their allowance..i even make them clean the house if they are the ones who messed the place..i switched off the tv as i think its not good watching the tv 24/7.. i asked them to learn how to cook eventhough we have a maid..and, if they dont perform, i'll scold them until they cry and sit down doing the homework..but, still..even i'm so strict with them..they still want me to be at home..it was really touching..maybe that's what sibs are..no matter what happened, the love will always be there..and we care too much with each other..if i'm sad..they are the ones that will care for me..last summer, i spend one month in klantan..accompanying my grandmother and grandfather..they were lonely..but, having my presence around, at least they have someone to talk to..but before leaving to klantan..safiyyah(9) asked me.." maryam, kenape kn pg lagi...kan maryam baru sampai jer..safiyah takut rindu kat maryam.." tears started to flow from my eyes..but, all can i say was.."i'll be back home soon".. then when i was leaving for moscow, again, she asked me " maryam, bile balik sini lagi?" i told her..it would be next year..then she said " lamenye...tak boleh ke tak balik..safiyah rindu maryam.." again..her words touched the soft spot in my heart..she was just 5 years old..and yet..the feelings for me were so strong..i still remember..it was about 4 p.m, safiyah just woke up and straight away, she sit in fron of the tv, and watch her cartoon..she loves cartoon so much, almost all of it...even the dragon ball..but, her fav is spongebob sguarepants..btw,i forgot to mention, last night she slept at 3-4 a.m..watching tv also..that made her a total tv addict, aite? so..back to the story..while she lie down attentively watching her fav tv cartoon..i suddenly, took the remote and switch off the tv..she was furious..she cried, and i say..." safiyah, cube kire, brape lame safiyah tengok tv..semalam safiyah tengok sampai pukul 3 pagi..hari ni, bangun, terus tengok lagi..sebab tu, maryam kn tutup tv..ok?" then all of a sudden...she screamed at me.." ni lah yang safiyah tak suke ade kakak!!" stunned..then suddenly i burst out laughing..it was so funny..seeing her tarik muke n merajuk with me..just because of the tv...i ignored her..i want her to know..that, anything u want to do, it should be moderate..then i went straight away to the kitchen, and started to cook dinner...safiyah outside..still sitting and crying..but, what can i do..i dont want to manjekan her...my parents have been pampering her since she is the second youngest after muaz..i dont want her to be spoilt..after finished cooking..i sat down in the living room..then she went to me and said.."maryam, safiyah mintak maaf.."..then we salam..and she kiss me on my cheeks..and, i told her.." kalo nak jadi goodgirl, takleh buat macam tuh..ok? " she noded..and asked me to read some books for her...


that's only one of the numerous stories about her..i used to be like her..that's why..i know how to soften her heart..and, she always claims that she wants to be like me someday..

so..i think..i have to be home this coming summer....i really miss ma sibs a lot..