~~ fam1ly..

as today my class f1n1shed at 10 a,m(yeah..10.am!!! =D ) 1 went back home when everyone was march1ng to class.. somehow,1 regretted 1n some ways why 1 d1dnt m1ss the class(heheheh..)as the journey to class took us about an hour plus, but the class was not even an hour..however we do learn a few new th1ngs today such as..h1p d1slocat1on, fractures and etc..( actually, wh1le the lecturer was READ1NG the text, 1 was read1ng my textbook as well..ekekeke.. ;P) ..then, 1 arr1ved home at 11 a.m and as a rout1ne,stra1ght away, 1 grab my lapp1e, l1sten to my playl1st(1ndo songs), and cl1ck on www.thestar.com.my(everyday 1s a must..feel updated w1th the current events...) and just browse through some news..noth1ng 1nterest1ng caught my eyes; fuel pr1ce drop (several t1mes already),the same lame pol1t1cal 1ssues, the usage of engl1sh 1n sc1ence and maths for students...and so on.. unt1l th1s headl1ne " Parliament: Rear seatbelts reduce risk of death by half "..yup, 1 know that...1 know 1t 1s a must as well.. and they even want to 1mplement 1t as a compulsory start1ng th1s 1st of january 2009..all of a sudden,my thoughts flew back to malays1a...

v1v1dly 1 remember my mum's car wh1ch 1s only a proton 1swara aeroback manufactured on 1997..thats the only car we have currently at home whereas other cars wh1ch my father bought "d1sappeared" out of nowhere.. we dont have the courage to ask further.. afterall, at home, out of 10 s1bl1ngs,only 5 left. so, 1ts not really a b1g deal not hav1ng so many cars because my mum 1s the only one dr1v1ng..( hassan 1s 1n sw1ss,khod1jah 1s 1n seremban, whereas fa1tmah 1s 1n 1reland..1 havent pass my dr1v1ng test yet.. ;P) but what worr1es me 1s when the weekend arr1ves.. that t1me, luqman w1ll be com1ng back home.. same goes to khod1jah.. so total up, there w1ll be 8 of them..so, 1 was wonder1ng, what w1ll happen then.. how could they travel w1thout be1ng caught by the jpj..or, who w1ll be left at home? of course za1nab w1ll be glad to just stay at home and watch1ng the t.v, but how about the others? what 1f they want to eat out as a fam1ly? hmmm..1 can p1cture the d1lemma and 1t saddens me because 1 know my s1bs..they just love to go out (espec1ally, muaz, saf1ah,sumayyah, and abdul rahman)..and yet, 1 cant do anyth1ng about 1t..=( several t1mes 1 asked my mum to buy a b1gger car so that we can f1t all of our s1bs but my mother refused as she told me 1n few years they wouldnt be anyone stay1ng at home, and hav1ng a b1gger car only cost more as the ma1ntanence and fuel 1s much more expens1ve.. 1 even heard my mother jok1ngly sa1d m1ght be one day, my brother w1ll buy her a new car..( upon hear1ng th1s 1 couldnt stop myself from shedd1ng few tears.. =( ) but that moment, 1 already knew..what 1 should do.. but, to be exact,what fat1mah and 1 should do..(heheh..we always pakat-pakat w1th each other.. ;P)1ts not that my mum cant afford to buy a new one, but she just 1ns1st on the fact, 1ts a waste, buy1ng a new car when the old one st1ll can be use! (1'm on the contary, as long as 1 feel l1ke chang1ng, 1'll change.. ;P)1n add1t1on, she 1s afra1d that 1f we spend a lot of our money on mater1al, the educat1on of my other s1bs w1ll be left unattended..thats why, my mum 1s wa1t1ng for my s1ster and 1 to graduate and khod1jah as well..only then, we can plan more further..hence, 1 cant wa1t to graduate and repay back to my parents who have been fork1ng out so much for me..f1nanc1ally and emot1onally...and the least 1 can do 1s to make them happy by mak1ng our fam1ly happy...so, now, all 1 want to do 1s concentrate on my fam1ly(they are always there for me through th1ck and th1n) and my stud1es.. the uncerta1n 1ssues, 1'll just let the fate dec1de.. because 1 dont want to be vulnerable aga1n..honestly,1 cant manage to be affected emot1onally for the second t1me.. 1t was just too unbearable..1 m1ght surv1ve for the f1rst t1me, but no one knows about the second..so, 1'm sett1ng my pr1or1t1es..fam1ly and stud1es parallelly..and the rest..are all as1de.. and 1'm happy 1 can make such dec1s1on! =)


p/s: my fam1ly 1s all 1 have..and 1 know they are the ones who can accept me of what 1 am..and 1'll do anyth1ng to protect them cause they meant so much to me..