~~ when 1 start to fall aga1n..

my heart.she 1s fluctuat1ng aga1n.not g1v1ng her full cooperat1on w1th my m1nd.my m1nd has been ask1ng her to stop be1ng vulnerable.stop look1ng back. stop crav1ng for a forb1dden love. but, she 1s very stubborn. she doesnt care what her m1nd tells her to do. she keeps on open1ng the wound that 1s almost healed.

secretly, she longs for someone to be by hers1de.to l1sten to her.to love her. to m1ss her.owh well, not just someone. that one. no2..not the prev1ous one.but the one that she 1s not sure how she felt. yup. that one. she wants to say yes.she wants h1m to know how much she enjoyed h1s company.she wants h1m to know that he made her bel1eve there's st1ll a good person out there for her.yes, she wants h1m to know she 1s w1ll1ng to take another chance..

but, deep down..she 1s afra1d the wound w1ll never heal aga1n..she cant take another breach of trust..she cant bear the fact of los1ng someone she loves so dearly once aga1n...

yet, she 1s a r1sk taker!! she doesnt care..she 1ns1sts on pursu1ng her strong des1re... for whats worth,she st1ll wants 1t...sooo badly!!!....UNT1LL..................

her m1nd put a great force!!!! she spoke f1rmly to her heart w1thout any hes1tat1on:"l1sten to me, my dear frag1le heart, love before marr1age 1s someth1ng aga1nst the rule.u have to keep 1t dearly for your husband. for the one person who can love you s1ncerely.who can accept you of what you are. who can gu1de you to the r1ght pathway. g1v1ng away your love s1mply to anyone w1ll make them feel that you are so easy to be taken for granted.to be lured. to be unfa1rly treated. and eventually, they w1ll not apprec1ate you as much as u deserve to be apprec1ated. they are just gonna make you suffer aga1n.1n th1s age,they are too 1mmature to apprec1ate your uncond1t1tonal love. they dont deserve to be w1th you r1ght now because all they want 1s to have some fun and not a l1felong comm1tment.so, please my dear..be pat1ent.. dont rush th1ngs aga1n. learn from your past m1stakes and keep on pray1ng for the best..and dont ever g1ve up 1n f1nd1ng ur soul mate.."

upon hear1ng all the adv1ces from her m1nd, her heart was regenerated and became stronger aga1n....

she bel1eves that,1f he 1s the r1ght person for her, no matter what happens, he w1ll be reserved for her and 1f he's not, then,there w1ll be another drop dead gorgeous guy w1ll1ng to make her happy for the rest of her l1fe.....and she cant stop sm1l1ng.. =D

Ya Allah, teguhkanlah hat1 hambaMu yang lemah 1n1..tetapkanlah hat1ku hanya untukMu..sesungguhnya Kaulah seba1k-ba1k penolongku dalam kesusahan..

p/s: hop1ng they w1ll cooperate and not argue w1th each other.. ;P